It is April 1 – the day of the fools, and I want to take this opportunity to share some funny Africa business stories with you. So be prepared for a slightly different post today! In the end, we want to enjoy the ride when doing business in Africa!
You see, when you do business in Africa you have to be prepared for the unexpected. And that can take on a whole new dimension. But if you manage to see it with a tolerant eye, there is something very unique and innocent in all of it and you can even cherish these moments as stories to tell. Like I do now. Especially knowing that fortunately or not, many of these anecdotes will slowly disappear in future when competitiveness in Africa’s emerging markets increases. In this article I want to show another wonderfully human side to doing business in Africa and we should proudly own it!
Mind the Moody Shop!
Have you ever walked into a shop in Africa and the person in the shop has this attitude of: “Why are you disturbing my peace?” – I have walked into many of these small shops during my work in the Horn. When they finally get up or you ask a question, you may be lucky to get a one-word answer out of them. One word? Make that one letter. In Eritrea for example we have ‘k’ – you pronounce that while breathing in (try it :)) and it means as much as ‘Yes’. But some minimize even that further. They make a clicking sound with their tongue (on the side) to agree with your question and two clicking sounds in the front of the tongue to disagree. Case closed – Happy shopping! 🙂
Note: Providing great customer service is poorly understood across Africa. Although this is changing with greater competitiveness, getting that right in your business by over-delivering will set you miles apart from you competition!
Rule 5: Never return early from your business trip!
This story was told by a Barclays Africa Director during a seminar I attended last year in London. She had left her hectic life in London behind to return home – to Zambia. Within two years she made a steep career at Barclays Africa. She told the audience that this had been her best decision to date and that she was thoroughly enjoying the experience and the luxuries of her new life. It went something like this: ‘School runs and stress? Forget that, in Zambia I have a nanny for that. In fact, I have three of them. But sometimes you also encounter things that you did not expect. One day for example I returned home early from a business trip…and…well, I found one of our workers enjoying a bubble bath in my Jacuzzi…” (hmm, he did at least lock the door, right?!)
Taxi service – yes. Window service – no.
This is an old story from the nineties when I was visiting family in Addis Ababa and surely a lot has changed since then. We took one of the taxis to drive into town when it suddenly started to rain – and I mean the tropical middle-of-the- rainy-season kind of rain, not some sort of London dribble. The bad news was the window in the back was open, so we asked the taxi driver to quickly help us close it as we could not manage using the manual handle. Well, it turned out that he could drive us to town, but he was unable to be of further assistance to meet any additional needs- the window handle was broken. The taxi driver was not apologetic but very practical about it: “Just pull the glass up, and hold it.” …..and so we did.
Sorry, she is in a meeting !
‘Sorry, (s)he is in a meeting’ is indeed one of the predominant answers you get in Africa when you call an office. It must have to do with the fact that Africans rather meet and talk to discuss business matters in person than to communicate with each other through e-mail. So everyone seems to constantly have meetings. But it seems that in South Sudan, this can take on a whole new dynamic. About a year ago, I researched the government sites of various countries to gather information on a subject when I came across something….well, let’s call it: rather unseen of – on the website of the South Sudan Chamber of Commerce. There was a list of the people in charge of different industry departments, and while some contact details where stated, others had no contact details next to their names. But the person in charge of that list made sure everyone knew that he had done his job. No, it was not his fault that the contact details were not there. He put the reason for the absence of each contact info in for the public to see! The best one was: “No information given because undersecretary is in the workshop for three days”.
I actually found it so funny that I copied and saved it, so this is it, word for word. I wished it was still there, but upon checking again I just found out the Chamber now has a completely new and modern site – ready for business the competitive way!
Unleash your potential of yet undiscovered… flexibility
Be flexible – take 1: Some of my most loved stories come from working in the Sudan. During my work in Khartoum, I could not do much without my water bottle, because of the incredible heat. So I made sure I got my wallet, my keys, and my water bottle when ever I left the house. When that bottle was empty, I simply bought a new one. But this time, when I left the shop I noticed the lid had been open. I asked my Sudanese colleague what he made of it. His answer: ‘Oh they just put in some tap water’. (Note: For sure that will drive up your profit margins!)
Be flexible – take 2: My Sudanese colleague had a huge land cruiser he drove. One day he decided to quickly drop something off at a government office, but because he could not find a parking space and he was sure he would be back in no time, he parked his car simply in front of some other cars. He left his key and jumped out, while I waited for him in the car. And of course….in those 10 mins one driver of those parked cars wanted to pull out, but was blocked. He asked me to move the land cruiser. I said I could not drive it, but my colleague would be back soon. ‘No problem’ he said. He jumped into the car, put the motor on, moved it two meters to the front, welcomed me to the Sudan, thanked me, got out, and drove off in his own car. Note: Seriously, the majority of us have lost the ability to do what simply makes most sense in this moment! 🙂
Be flexible – take 3: A work appointment in Khartoum can look something like this (it happened to me at a government office):
You: ‘So tomorrow at 11 AM?”
Partner: ‘Inshallah’ “(God willing) – so assume it is a yes.
You arrive at 11 AM the next morning.
Partner: ”Tafadeli….come join us….” (don’t expect a detailed explanation, just go with the flow)
And then someone just serves the most amazing food with grilled Nile fish, soup, full (beans), eggs, goats cheese, and fresh bread on a huge silver plate in the middle of the office desk – and of course, you eat with your fingers. A headache for the most efficient punctual people, a blessing for everyone who simply smiles and just accepts that life works slightly different here than you might be used to (I got hungry just choosing the right image to go with this article!)
It wasn’t me
Some years back, I had my pictures taken at a photo studio in Asmara, Eritrea. One of the renowned studios I shall say. The photos were made and I paid immediately as requested (this way they make sure you come to pick the photos up). A few days later I am excited to see my new portrait photos and I open the envelope only to find out that my face had several black dots on it. I tell one of the staff about it. She seems unconcerned. I tell her that I ordered pictures of my face, not pictures of my face with black dots on it – I ask for my money back. But people have surely different perspectives, because the answer I got was this: “It’s not our fault, it’s the machine.”
And here is a story I found by an expat named Tana working in Kenya.
Be always in good standing with the Police
I was very politely waved off the road by the police officer – what was wrong? They must have a special class they take while training for law enforcement as every single one of them have the look of doom on their face when they first see you.
“Hello Sir, how is your day?” Then I smile.
“Fine Madam.” I smile and he smiles back, this is a good sign.
“Is everything ok?” Keep the smile on.
“I need a lift to Karen, will you please drop me”
“Off course, hop on in!”
Getting a ride in someone else’s company car? Warning: The driver may be James Bond under cover in Africa.
Eddie [he must be an expat from the West visiting Kenya], was on a job and driving back from upcountry with his driver, Steven. Their car was behind a matatu (public minibus) and the matatu was behind a Bus. The matatu had his indicator on to over take the bus, he started to pull out only to pull back in and start to go off the other side of the road, looking as if he had a passenger ready wanting to get out. Steven started to accelerate to then over take the bus, when out of no where the matatu came back into his lane and side swiped Steven and Eddie’s car, then the matatu speeds up to quickly leave the scene.
Eddie suggested to Steven that they should write down the license plate number, so they can report it to the police. But Steven said number plates can be fake, and since the car he drove was a company car, he was worried to have to pay for it or even worse, to lose his job now that it had been damaged. So Steven decided to chase the matatu. Eddie was now on a white-knuckle ride of his life and thinking, “Oh my this is not for me.” Eddie kept asking Steven to stop as it wasn’t worth their lives, but Steven was holding to his resolve on this one. No one in his mind would get away with crashing in to the company car!
Steven was now right behind this matatu and they were in a part of town no one wants to be in, Eddie was now saying his prayers and Steven was hell bent on getting his man!
Finally the matatu had cornered himself in a back alley somewhere which was blocked off and he had no where to go!
Steven jumps out of the car and runs over to the matatu, unbelievably the owner of the matatu was also in it! After many words in Kikuyu, Steven is now pulling the owner out of the matatu by his shirt! And drags him in to the company car and throws him in it! Eddie was standing outside while all this was happening in case Steven need back up, so when the owner was thrown in, Eddie got in next like in a real action movie, then Steven got back in the car!
They were now on their way to the police station. They arrived dragged this man out and walked into the station. They filed their report and justice was served up a platinum platter!
Steven was satisfied, Eddie was still in a bit of shock, but all ended well and Steven job was secured.
Happy April 1 to you, dear Africa Business Jumpstarter – where ever in Africa and the world you are – don’t forget to have some fun! And please, please share your own Africa anecdotes in the comment section below with us to make us smile !
And still. Let’s be defined what dosage in this case approaches most of all. There can be it cialis 20mg or something another. To me I think it isn’t necessary to choose for you necessary. Think. Perhaps suits you cialis 20 mg It is much better.
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